Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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