why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
