Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
