She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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