How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
