i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dont even know how to be here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His nipple licking is glorious
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