there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
