Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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