Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
