oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
