guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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