Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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