Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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