your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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