finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
