apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
