I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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