I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's Friday. Sex?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
