he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
