hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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