dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
only you would photoshop your dick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
