I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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