I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
