Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
