Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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