there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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