4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
