You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
