Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
