You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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