at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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