I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My cat gives me a boner
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i would one night stand the shit outta him
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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