i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
