no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm always down for nudity.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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