i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think your dad took our porno
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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