I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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