when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
