we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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