Pants 0. Shit 1.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
