so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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