Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
