my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I checked into jail on foursquare
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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