"it" just moved
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
