Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
