I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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