Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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