I want to walk on stilts...naked
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
