We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
