I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
