Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
