To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
