We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
