your thong is hanging out like whoa
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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