Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
