pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
